


Entangled

by mrs_leary (julie)



Series: The Hotness of You, Doofus [2]
Category: Merlin (TV) RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-03-16
Updated: 2009-03-16
Packaged: 2017-10-28 06:34:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/304799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julie/pseuds/mrs_leary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The boys are filming on location for <i>Merlin</i>. Bradley has his work cut out for him, trying to convince Colin that he’s serious about their affair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Entangled

♦  


## three months

  
It was embarrassing how much he wanted Bradley. They’d been together for three months now, and just when Colin had thought the wanting must soon start to level off to something reasonable, it had instead got worse. More and more intense. And it wasn’t even like they’d got to the serious stuff yet. Bradley seemed happy to take his time with this, and Colin was used to keeping it safe. Anyway, mouths and hands were absolutely fine when it was Bradley’s mouth and Bradley’s hands… And Colin had always loved a bit of full–body frottage, but when it was _Bradley’s_ body… ‘ _God_ , I’m an idiot,’ Colin muttered to himself as he headed down the hotel corridor at a jog. ‘I have it _so_ bad.’ He’d thought he’d learned better by now.

They both seemed happy to keep separate hotel rooms, but they always got a spare key for each other. Colin let himself into Bradley’s room, and the door swung closed behind him.

Bradley was sitting on the bed with his legs stretched long, and all the pillows behind him, reading through a script. ‘You’re done already?’ he asked in easy friendly tones without looking up. ‘I thought you’d be hours –’ But he stopped talking when he realised Colin was heading towards him with intent, and he tossed the script aside just in time.

In short order, Colin was kneeling on the bed, straddling Bradley’s thighs. ‘Hey,’ he murmured in greeting.

‘Hey,’ Bradley softly replied.

And then Colin took that beautiful face in both hands and kissed the man. Bradley groaned into it, and his hands ran along Colin’s thighs, wrapped around his hips. It was wonderful, but it wasn’t enough – Colin was so damned hard, just _aching_ for it – and he could scoff at his own idiocy when he was hurrying towards Bradley, but when faced with him, when touching him… Colin groaned in frustration, and broke the kiss. He wanted sensation, friction, pressure, and he wanted it against his cock _right now_.

‘It’s all right,’ Bradley was reassuring him.

And Colin realised he was jutting his hips forward in mindless need – but then Bradley’s hands were shaping themselves to Colin’s rear, bringing him closer – Colin teetered forward, unbalanced, clumsy – and suddenly he had exactly what he wanted, he was pressed against Bradley’s breastbone, and he couldn’t help but thrust a little – ‘Bradley…’ he pleaded.

‘It’s all right.’ Those hands encouraging him. ‘Colin, it’s fine.’

Colin got his own hands on the wall above the bedhead, holding himself arched back so he wouldn’t crush Bradley – but Bradley seemed comfortable enough, and began pressing kisses to Colin’s chest and stomach through his shirt. God, they were both fully dressed, and in desperation he was dry–humping his boyfriend’s chest… What did that say about him?

‘Come on, sweetheart…’ Bradley was crooning, those hands kneading at his butt through his jeans. ‘Come on, gorgeous…’

And Colin let himself go, and went with it, rocking his cock against the hard bone protecting Bradley’s good heart, just short little jabs up and back, up and back – Bradley’s hands and mouth and voice all there with him –

And within moments he was coming, coming in his jeans like some hopeless kid – but it was with Bradley, and therefore it was incredible – Colin cried out, then groaned in relief. Sank back to crouch down, curl against Bradley as the aftershocks took him, Bradley’s arms coming up to cradle him, Bradley’s voice still crooning at him, Bradley pressing a kiss to his hair.

‘Oh god,’ Colin muttered as the pleasure finally ebbed away and the cold reality of it poured in to take its place. He pushed himself up off Bradley with a groan of disgust, and collapsed back onto the other side of the bed. ‘God, I am _so_ sorry.’

Bradley just laughed. ‘Don’t be.’

‘You must, uh –’ Colin grimaced, and dared a glance at him. ‘God… I can’t imagine what you must think of me right now.’

But for some strange reason, Bradley seemed perfectly happy. ‘Hey,’ he said, reaching a hand to shake at Colin’s near arm. Insisting on gaining his full attention. ‘Hey,’ he repeated softly. ‘That was about the most awesome thing that ever happened to me.’

Colin stared at him. ‘You’re mad.’

‘No, I’m not.’ Bradley slid down on the bed, and reached to take Colin into his arms.

‘I just ran in here and brought myself off against you.’

‘Yeah, I noticed. Awesome!’ Bradley chuckled when he saw Colin’s disbelief. ‘So, you must have been wanting me. A lot. That’s quite a compliment.’

‘Huh.’

‘Anyway, I’m your boyfriend, right? You’re allowed.’

‘I suppose.’

‘Hey, if you want me to be a girl about it,’ Bradley confessed, ‘it’s nice that you don’t wanna just use me.’ But then his bright blue eyes lit right into Colin’s: ‘God, you should have seen yourself. You are so fucking beautiful, Morgan. And you were flying! I love watching you like that. I _love_ it.’

And suddenly they were deep in each other’s arms, and they were kissing. Colin was feeling pretty mellow now, but Bradley was obviously wanting a turn, and Colin was more than happy to go along with it. In fact, Bradley was taking it slow, and getting them both undressed piece by piece, so maybe Colin would even be good to go again by the time Bradley was getting into it. Or maybe…

Colin waited until they were both naked, and Bradley was starting to find a gentle rolling rhythm between them, and then as Bradley was sucking and gnawing at his throat – make–up had long ago given up complaining about the love bites – Colin offered, ‘You wanna fuck me?’

After a moment, Bradley stilled, and then he lifted his head. His hot blue eyes dark with need. ‘Yeah,’ he said, his voice rough. ‘If you –’

‘Yeah, I wanna.’

‘Not what I meant. If you’re ready –’

‘Course I’m ready,’ Colin said a bit irritably. ‘Sorry if this disappoints you, but I’m not exactly a virgin.’

Bradley’s mouth twisted awry. ‘No, I didn’t think you were.’

‘What’s _that_ supposed to mean?!’

‘Nothing. Hey,’ Bradley added. ‘If getting into an argument is Plan B, I vote we stick with Plan A.’

Colin growled, but he didn’t push Bradley away. ‘Well, what did you mean, if _I’m_ ready?’

Bradley rocked back up onto his elbow, so he wasn’t crowding Colin. Patronising smug bastard thought he had everything figured out. ‘Just that… you’ve been keeping it simple. Safe. And that’s fine. It’s been wonderful. But if _you_ want to take it to the next level…’ Bradley grimaced, but it transformed into a wry grin. ‘ _I_ want to. Absolutely, I want to.’

‘ _I’ve_ been keeping it simple,’ Colin echoed with massive irony. He clambered out of the bed, started dragging on his jeans.

‘Colin, for god’s sake, _don’t go_ ,’ Bradley pleaded in frustration, holding out a hand.

‘I’m not bloody well walking out on you,’ he grumbled in reply. ‘I’m gonna fetch the rubbers and lube from my room that I’ve had all this time just in case we ever got beyond simple, damn you.’

Bradley was staring at him like he was mad. Like they were both mad, maybe. ‘Just _stop_ , would you? God, why does everything always have to be so bloody difficult?’

Colin stood tall, folded his arms over his bare chest, and glared down at him.

‘Look,’ said Bradley, shifting over to open the bedside drawer – the one that wasn’t on his own side of the bed. ‘See? I got all that, too. Just in case.’ He reached in, and fetched out two different boxes of condoms, and then three different tubes of lube, all of the packaging obviously new and unopened. The two of them stared at the little collection lying there on the sheets. ‘Um, I’ve never used lube before,’ Bradley eventually confessed. ‘I didn’t know what to get.’

‘So you got them all.’

‘Well,’ Bradley said with a shrug, ‘I got a selection.’

Colin sighed. Wrestled open the box of plain condoms, took one out, then picked the lube he’d used before; placed those on top of the bedside drawer, and put the others away. Stripped off his jeans, and lay down on his back next to where Bradley still waited propped up on an elbow. ‘All right,’ Colin said.

Bradley sighed, too, and took Colin carefully into his arms. They lay there together for a while, quietly, until eventually Colin turned into Bradley’s embrace, and they kissed, and began again. Bradley was ready for this. Within moments he was murmuring, ‘How…? How shall we…? I mean –’

Colin reached out a hand, snared the condom, shoved it at Bradley. ‘Put it on.’ Reached for the lube.

Bradley pulled back, got up to his knees, ripped open the package, started rolling the thing on. Got distracted halfway through, and stared mesmerised at Colin, on his back, reaching down between his own thighs, pressing two well–lubed fingers into himself. _‘Oh fuck…’_ Bradley breathed in the most awestruck tones.

‘That’s the general idea,’ Colin informed him, though he knew very well that the tart tone he was aiming for was totally lacking. ‘Come on…’

Bradley finished his task with alacrity, then crawled over to kneel between Colin’s bent legs. ‘Can we –? I mean, like this?’

‘Yeah. If that’s how you want it.’

‘Yeah. Totally.’ Bradley’s hot blue gaze roaming over him, from his face to his open thighs, and Colin remembered too late how Bradley loved to watch him, and here he was leaving himself completely exposed. But it was already too late, as Bradley shifted closer, put his weight down on one hand while the other wrapped around Colin’s hip. ‘You’ll have to help me,’ Bradley confessed.

‘All right. Come on.’ His hands reaching out to Bradley, drawing him close, and Bradley sank with a little groan to lie on him, and they were kissing, kissing – and while Bradley was thus distracted, Colin curled up, his hips finding the right angle, his legs winding around Bradley’s waist, and he lifted himself, curled up further still – until suddenly Bradley’s cockhead was at just the right place, and Colin murmured, ‘Come on, then, _push_ ,’ against Bradley’s lips – and with a groan Bradley instinctively did so at just the right angle, tilting his hips just _so_ – and after a moment’s resistance suddenly his cockhead burst through and was inside Colin, and they both cried out fraught. Bradley lifted a little to stare at Colin, examine him as if he’d never seen him before – and Colin, pinned there and needy, pleaded, ‘Come _on_ … _now_ …’

‘All right?’ Bradley managed to ask.

‘ _Yes_ , for god’s sake, _please_ –’

And Bradley was moving, pushing further in, groaning again, already so close. ‘ _Tight_ , Morgan, god damn it, so fucking _tight_ , I _love_ you, oh **_god_** , that’s fucking _awesome_ …’ And they managed seven trembling raw amazing thrusts before Bradley came, yelling throat hoarse like his world was ending.

Colin held him afterwards, absently pressing kisses to his temple, and stroking that fall of blond hair, that broad strong shoulder. ‘All right?’ he asked when Bradley finally stirred again.

‘Awesome. That was just the most awesome thing…’

Colin laughed. ‘That’s what you said last time one of us came.’

Bradley lifted his head to look at him, to light into him with those bright blue eyes. ‘If I had a Top Ten List of all the awesomest things that had ever happened to me, Morgan, you’d be in most of them.’

‘Most, so?’ Colin quietly echoed, wondering how wise it was to betray how very much that meant to him.

‘Almost all of them,’ Bradley confessed, snuggling himself deeper into Colin’s arms. ‘Eight or nine out of the ten.’

Colin grunted in surprise, gratified beyond measure.

‘Oh, all right, if you _must_ know, you’d be all ten, and probably the ten after that as well.’

‘Bradley…’ he whispered. And they were kissing again, and moving against each other, because no matter how often they did this, made love like this, it was never ever enough.

♦  


## six months

  
They totally had the hang of it by now, fucking – Bradley knowing precisely how to enter, how to hold him, how to thrust – whether he was ramming into him like he was breaching the castle walls, plunging into him like he was coming home, or easing within him not like he was filling Colin’s body but instead tranquilly and with all the time in the world completing Colin’s soul.

After which Colin felt utterly mellow lying there in Bradley’s arms. Which was why it came like a bucket of ice water dashed right across him when Bradley murmured, ‘When we get back to England… we should get the tests done.’

‘Mmm?’ he prompted, though he knew what Bradley meant.

‘I am just _dying_ to do that without the rubber.’

‘Mmm.’

‘Once we know for sure we’re safe,’ Bradley continued, apparently not picking up on Colin’s tension at all, ‘we won’t have to worry, we can just go for it. No interruptions for the mechanics.’

‘Mmm…’

Eventually Bradley pushed himself up onto an elbow and looked carefully at Colin. ‘What?’ he asked. Something horrible occurred to him, and his face spasmed in pain. ‘Oh god, Colin, if you’ve got something to tell me, then _tell me_.’

‘No,’ he quickly said. ‘No, I’m fine. As far as I know. I’ve been careful. Tests have been negative. So far.’

‘Yeah? Thank god.’ Bradley lay his head on Colin’s chest, clung on tight. ‘I couldn’t bear it. Not like _that_.’

Colin held him, stroking that broad strong shoulder, pushing his fingers up into the hair at that tender nape.

After a while Bradley said without moving, ‘I’m OK, too, I think. Really didn’t want any nasty surprises, of either kind. But we’ll find out for sure, yeah? Then it won’t matter any more.’

Colin carefully didn’t say anything, didn’t argue, but then it was pretty obvious that he wasn’t agreeing either. He felt cold, from his skin through to his marrow, but he didn’t move, didn’t reach for the duvet.

After a very long while, Bradley shifted away, rolled onto his back. Leaving a hand resting at Colin’s waist as a token connection between them. And Bradley said, ‘What? What are you thinking?’

‘I’m thinking… we shouldn’t talk about this. I’m thinking we shouldn’t change anything.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because…’ _God_ , he really didn’t want to have this conversation. But Colin knew from experience that Bradley wouldn’t let it go. Not now. ‘Because for me to… not worry about safe sex, I’d have to know. For sure. That you weren’t gonna…’

‘What?’ Bradley demanded, voice hard. ‘That I’m not gonna cheat on you?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Well –?’

Colin shrugged. ‘This isn’t about you. It’s about me not – not trusting. Not trusting anyone.’

Bradley scowled, and sat up on the side of the bed with his back to Colin, and his hands gripping the mattress either side of his hips. ‘ _Fuck_ you, Morgan.’

They had salvaged bad situations before, mainly because Bradley could be incredibly patient or at worst just plain stubborn, and he would hang in there and persist and eventually they would find their way to the end of the maze no matter how complicated, and discover a solution they could both live with. Colin wondered if they’d finally found the issue for which that wouldn’t be true. But it had become ingrained in him by now, that he would try to tell Bradley the truth, and see if they couldn’t work something out. So he said, ‘I have a really bad track record.’

‘What?’ Bradley ground out. ‘Of being faithful?’

‘No!’ Colin cried defensively. ‘I’ve never cheated. If I’ve been seeing someone. You know, if we’d established that we were seeing each other. Then, no way.’

‘All right – _what_ , then?’

‘I’ve been cheated on. By just about everyone I was ever serious about. Or dumped because they found a better option. All right?’ God, this was so fucking humiliating, now that he heard himself say it so baldly. Colin Morgan: no one’s ideal boyfriend. ‘I’ve got used to the idea that… that people sleep around.’

‘But you haven’t.’

‘No.’

‘So being faithful is important to you.’

 _God_. ‘Yeah.’ And even though Bradley’s back was still turned, Colin had his eyes screwed shut. He reached for the duvet and curled up under it. Though he was at least brave enough to curl towards Bradley.

Bradley was silent for a while, before asking, ‘What’s it gonna take to convince you? It’s not gonna be just a matter of time, is it? Cos I’ve been seeing you for six months now – and, OK, I’ve _looked_ occasionally, but I’ve never once touched. Haven’t even wanted to,’ he added with a sense of wonder, as if he hadn’t quite realised that himself until now. ‘And don’t try telling me that looking is cheating!’ he cried belligerently. ‘Cos I’ve seen you looking, too.’

‘What about…’ Colin stalled, realising how far he was exposing himself. He curled up tighter. ‘What about when you’d fallen for me but you hadn’t told me yet? You still sleep around then?’ And the answer was gonna be yes, and if he was at all sensible he wouldn’t even care seeing as Bradley had had no reason to be true to him, not back then.

‘There was a girl,’ Bradley admitted. ‘It kinda happened out of habit. And it was in the early days, so I wasn’t really _sure_ yet. But I soon realised. Things had changed. It was too late to walk out on her, but I knew it wasn’t what I wanted any more.’

‘All right.’

‘And there was a guy.’ Bradley could be remorselessly honest, damn him. ‘Almost. But I didn’t. Because by then I’d realised I didn’t want anyone but you. And even if I told myself I was just making sure I _could_ – Well, it would have been cheating.’

Colin dared to peer over the edge of the duvet. Bradley still had his back turned, but his stance wasn’t all stiff and righteous any more. His head was hanging, and he seemed to be fidgeting, which wasn’t really like him. ‘Have you _ever_ cheated? On anyone?’

‘Not technically.’ Bradley cast him a glance, and then sighed. ‘All right, once. Though probably _anyone_ else would accept my justification.’

Colin grinned, though he was more grim than amused. ‘I’m not even gonna ask for that story, mate.’ With a world of irony, he said, ‘You are a bad, bad person.’ He reached to touch Bradley’s arm. ‘Come here. I need cuddling.’

And Bradley was there instantaneously, taking Colin deep into his arms, letting Colin wrap around him like they’d have to be prised apart later with a crowbar. ‘Are you gonna trust me?’ Bradley asked quietly.

‘No,’ said Colin, just easily and honestly like it wasn’t even an issue.

‘All right,’ Bradley said, in exactly the same tones.

‘I’m loving you, though.’

‘I know. I love you, too.’

♦  


## eight months

  
Colin stormed into his hotel room and for good measure tried to slam the door, but it was on one of those evil fucking devices that swung it slowly, quietly closed in its own good time. So he kicked it instead, landing the sole of his sneakered foot on it. He was furious, god, he was so fucking furious, and everyone could fucking well go mind their own fucking business, and fuck themselves while they were fucking at it. The door finally closed, and the lock snicked into place, and Colin jabbed his toes against the fucking thing.

And then of course the lock snicked again, and the door opened a crack, and Bradley said, ‘Uh, Colin…?’

 _‘What?!’_

Bradley came in and closed the door behind him, leant back against it. ‘Um, didn’t go well, then?’

‘You could say that.’

‘Contract negotiations?’ his co–star assumed. ‘Does it really matter, whatever it is?’ his lover asked.

‘It wasn’t about the fucking contract.’

Bradley frowned. ‘Oh. What, then? What did they want?’ The frown deepened. ‘The other Julian flew in yesterday, didn’t he? For the wrap party. Was it all _four_ of them?’

‘Yeah.’ The four creators, two of them also producers. The Powers That Be, at least in the universe of _Merlin_. Which was all Colin had known for the past eight months. All he _would_ know for eight months of each of the next three years, if all went according to plan.

‘God, Colin, _tell me_.’

Colin stared at him. Took a breath. _God_. ‘They wanted to know –’ _God damn them all to hell_. ‘They wanted to know how I’m gonna cope when you dump me, and we still have to work together.’

Bradley stared at him. ‘What?!’

‘You heard me.’

‘Did you tell them to go fuck themselves?’

‘Yeah. Then they wanted a “proper” answer.’

‘God,’ Bradley muttered to himself, ‘ _I’ll_ be telling them to go fuck themselves…’

‘They’re not gonna be talking to you.’

Bradley was mystified. ‘Why not?’

Colin groaned out a sigh, and went over to the window, running his hands back through his hair. ‘Cos they’re surprised your little walk on the wild side has lasted this long. Cos they think you’ll call it quits once we’re not stuck here together in France. Cos they think you’ll be fine and I’ll fall apart.’

‘You’re kidding me.’

‘No.’

Bradley came up behind him. ‘What, and they’re just worried about the show? Are _you_ worried? Cos you know I’m the expendable one, right? No one but you could play Merlin. Anyone could play Arthur.’

Colin’s throat jammed up. He was going to retort, _That’s meant to be reassuring, is it?_ but he couldn’t get the words out. He tried, _So this was just a location fling after all?_ but that didn’t work either. He went for, _You fucking bastard!_ but instead he found he’d let out a choked noise that sounded suspiciously like a sob.

‘Colin…’ Bradley’s hands slid around his waist. ‘I’m not gonna dump you. Did you really let them convince you I would?’

‘No,’ he managed, though his voice trembled.

‘I’m gonna kill them,’ Bradley muttered.

‘Well,’ Colin mumbled, ‘I’ve been led to expect… story of my life, you know…’

Bradley’s arms tightened around him, and he pressed up close, his front against Colin’s back from top to toe. ‘The story of your life changed when you met me. Just like mine changed when I met you.’

God, if only he could believe that. ‘No one but you is thinking that, Bradley,’ he explained. ‘Everyone’s expecting you to walk away.’

‘Well, you’re all gonna get a big fucking surprise, then, aren’t you?’

‘Not because of you. Because of me. Not worth the bother, remember?’

Bradley just sighed, and tucked his head in against Colin’s shoulder. ‘Let’s not start that one up again. You wanna watch a DVD or something? Go for a walk? Hey, there’s an idea! We could go for a walk out in the sunshine, and no one’s gonna tell you off if you go pink.’

‘Nah, I got one last shot to pick up tomorrow morning. Gotta remain pale and interesting a while yet.’

‘OK. Uh… You wanna head into town and raid the bakery? Munch too many pastries?’

Colin cast him an amused look. ‘How _do_ you maintain that boyish figure of yours?’

‘Well, obviously we’ll have to come back here and work off the calories in bed.’

Colin laughed. ‘ _That_ sounds like a plan.’

Bradley pressed a kiss to his cheek. ‘Then that’s what we’ll do.’

♦  


## eight months and one day

  
Colin settled in for a snooze after lunch because the wrap party was due to start with dinner at seven that evening, and would probably continue until the cars came to take them to the train the next morning. But then Bradley came to find him, and instead of doing the sensible thing and getting in for a cuddle or a fuck, Bradley crouched beside the bed, and shook his shoulder. ‘Colin, come on, wake up.’

‘Wha…? Bugger off, Bradley.’

‘No, come on, get up.’

‘Get in if you wanna. I’m not getting up.’

‘Yes, you are.’

‘Oh _god_ ,’ he grumbled gracelessly, realising that Bradley was set on one of his schemes. ‘All right, what?’ Colin asked once he was sitting on the side of the bed.

‘Come on, we’re going out.’

He swore some more, and then just went as he was, with his t–shirt and jeans and hair rumpled from his snooze, and not bothering with his wallet or room key. Let Bradley worry about the practicalities if he was so determined.

Bradley had borrowed a vehicle from the set, one of the people movers they used to take them all back and forth, but he wouldn’t say where they were going. He drove out of town, and started up into the hills, obviously a bit nervous about being on the wrong side of the road, sitting on the wrong side of the car – but Colin cared so little about that, he dozed off for a while.

When he woke again, they were parked somewhere high up on a mountain, with a meadow falling away beside them, and a dizzyingly enormous view beyond. Bradley was sitting there looking at him a bit oddly. ‘I guess,’ Bradley observed after a moment, ‘you trust me in some things.’

‘Course I do,’ he mumbled in reply, wondering how much of himself he was giving away. ‘Where are we?’

‘Best view around, they told me.’

‘All right. Better go look at it then.’

They got out of the car, and headed off into the meadow, and there was no one around – it felt as if there was no one else in the whole world – so Colin didn’t even feel surprised when Bradley took his hand, and they walked along together, trying to take in the awesome view. A valley stretched before them into the distance, with mountains either side, a river threading through, and a lake a small way off. Everything dark blues and greens under a perfect blue vault of sky. It was almost a bit too much.

‘Gosh!’ Colin exclaimed ironically. It was easier just to look at Bradley as they wandered down the slope, so he did that for a while instead.

And Bradley slowed down, his face turned towards Colin but not quite looking at him, and then they came to a stop, and it seemed perfectly natural to move into each other’s arms, and kiss. They’d never done that out in the open before. Even though everyone knew about them being together, they’d never done anything much outside their own hotel rooms. But today was different. Today they were the only people in the whole world.

‘Colin,’ Bradley said.

‘Mmm?’

Bradley shifted away. Turned back towards the view. They were still holding hands, and for a moment it felt like they were so high up they might just lift up and soar off into the blue. Colin sat down abruptly in the grass, wanting the ground solid underneath him.

‘Hey, you all right?’

‘Um, yeah…’ Colin grimaced, and guessed, ‘Touch of vertigo for a moment there. Sorry.’

Bradley sighed, and sat beside him, crossing his legs and bringing their joined hands to rest on his thigh. ‘God, I should have known. I can’t even do this right.’

‘Do what?’

Bradley looked across at him. ‘Propose.’

‘What?’

‘I want to marry you.’

Colin stared at him, feeling completely blank. ‘What?’

Bradley cleared his throat. ‘I want you to marry me. And if you say _What?_ one more time, I’m throwing you off this bloody mountain.’

A long moment passed. ‘Oh,’ said Colin.

‘Well, you know, it’s not actually marriage, is it? This civil partnership thing. But that’s what it would mean to me. You know? I want us to get married.’

‘Oh.’

‘And then you’ll know. Well, but you won’t, will you? Because you probably still won’t trust me. But I can’t think of any other way I can make you believe that I’m not gonna cheat on you, and I’m not gonna walk away.’

‘I see,’ he managed. Though he didn’t really. This was not something he’d ever imagined happening in his life. Colin collapsed back down on the grass, and closed his eyes against the infinity of the sky.

‘Of course I am only doing this so that when we’re old and grey, and we’re still doddering around together, and we’re happy, and I’ve never once strayed in all those years – decades – then I will finally be able to say “I told you so”.’

‘Mmm,’ said Colin.

‘And the sense of utter vindication will be a great joy to me.’ And Bradley asked, ‘Are you going to answer me? Because I kind of hoped we’d be kissing by now, rather than me sitting here babbling on like an idiot.’

‘Yes,’ he whispered.

‘Yes, you’re going to answer me?’ Bradley kept rattling on: ‘If you’re worried about it being some really big embarrassing deal – the ceremony, I mean – then I was thinking we’d get our mums in on it – I mean, we’ll pay, but they’ll organise – because you’ll be in Bristol with that play, and I’ll be filming in some godforsaken place in Yorkshire that I can’t even find on a map, and if we get them to set it up for somewhere in London, something small and proper, just before we start filming _Merlin_ in Wales again, then –’

Colin tugged at Bradley’s hand, and brought him tumbling down into his arms. ‘Yes – God, will you shut it? – I’m saying _yes_.’ And they were kissing, and for a while they spun off into the blue together.

Then Bradley lay curled up by Colin with his head on Colin’s chest, and he said, ‘I love you, you know. I do, even if you won’t trust me on that.’

‘I know you love me. I’m loving you, too.’

Bradley lifted his head. ‘See, _I’m_ trusting _you_. That’s what I’m doing _right now_.’

‘Good,’ said Colin. Though whatever point Bradley thought he was making had just gone sailing off over his head. ‘Look, don’t throw me off the mountain, but – What?’

‘You never say “I love you”, you always say “I’m loving you”. Is that some Irish thing? It sounds like you mean “I’m loving you right now, but that could change at any moment, so”.’

Colin was silent for a time, but then he observed, ‘I thought I was meant to be the insecure one.’

‘Hey, I’m secure enough not to have asked you about it before now.’

Colin smiled, and got his hand under Bradley’s chin, forced him to meet his gaze. ‘It means I love you. It means it’s something I’m doing, and I’m gonna keep doing. It means I’m marrying you, which I never thought I’d _ever_ do. It means I’ll suffer whatever mad kind of ceremony our mums come up with, and whatever the BBC publicity machine puts us through. It means I’m gonna let you say “I told you so” when we’re old and grey and doddering, and it’s not gonna bite even the tiniest bit, cos that’s just exactly what I’ve always wanted even if I didn’t always know it. All right?’

‘Oh,’ said Bradley in a tiny voice. ‘All right. You could have just said.’

‘Idiot,’ said Colin. And they were kissing again, and the world bore them carefully as it revolved below the sun which blessed them with gentle light.

♦  


## twelve months to the day

  
Eventually they were alone, in some exorbitant hotel room which Colin honestly didn’t give a toss about – eventually he was alone with Bradley James, his husband now for god’s sake, and they were kissing like they hadn’t already kissed a thousand times that day, and they were leading and pushing and dancing each other towards the enormous bed as if they hadn’t spent the last year having sex far more often than was reasonable.

And when they fell across the bed, still only half out of their suited–and–booted finery, Bradley said, ‘I want you to fuck me.’

‘What…?’ Colin gaped at him. He’d never even touched Bradley there; at first Bradley had seemed too straight, and later they’d just been too involved in doing other things.

Bradley flushed a little, but he didn’t look away. ‘It’s the only bit of virginity either of us have left. I thought tonight was the appropriate time to finally lose it.’

‘Oh god…’

‘I mean, if you’re even into that.’

‘God, of _course_ I am.’

‘All right, then.’ And Bradley started on shedding the rest of their clothes, working down the buttons on Colin’s shirt. ‘Too many buttons,’ he muttered. ‘I should have told mum: Not so many buttons.’

‘Uh, _please_ don’t mention your mum right now.’

Bradley grinned up at him, and winked. ‘Like she doesn’t know you’re gonna be buggering her darling boy tonight…’

Colin tried very manfully not to squeak in embarrassment.

‘When did _you_ get so shy? You’re the out–and–proud one here!’

‘Oh, didn’t I tell you? The Gay Police finally sent your new sex licence. It came in the mail yesterday.’

‘But you haven’t even sodomised me yet!’

‘I guess they thought the whole getting–married thing was good enough.’

‘Jeez, well… don’t give it to me until tomorrow. By then I’ll feel I’ve really earned it.’

Colin leant in and insisted on kissing the man, despite the fact this interrupted the whole undressing process. ‘Bradley,’ he whispered, wanting to be serious.

‘Mmm…?’ Bradley sat up to lean down and get their shoes and socks off.

‘You know, it’ll probably hurt, no matter how careful I am.’

‘That’s kinda appropriate, too, yeah?’ He flashed a grin back over his shoulder. ‘Think of me as your bride. Possess me, make me yours – hell, blood on the sheets, I don’t care.’

‘Oh god…’

As usual, Bradley had his way. Except they managed without the blood.

♦

Colin had carefully finger–fucked Bradley while going down on him. Slowly brought him to an intense climax, and left him lying there boneless and satiated on his back. Then, using plenty more lube, he’d shifted between those wantonly sprawled thighs, and begun pushing inside his lover, his husband. His bride. Bradley’s mouth parted, his breath coming slow and deep. His hot blue eyes finally opening to gaze dazedly up at Colin. ‘All right?’ Colin murmured.

‘I’m loving you, so…’

Colin moaned. ‘I’m loving you, too – I’m yours, I love you, Bradley James, I’m yours, I trust you, I don’t care what you do…’

‘I’m loving you, Colin Morgan.’

And Colin was inside him now, all the way, and Bradley seemed fine, absolutely fine, if a little spun out. Maybe the pain would come later, but if so, they’d deal with it together. For now it was just beautiful. Despite which, Colin asked again, ‘All right, Bradley?’

‘Yeah, come on, husband, _move_ – you are so fucking beautiful, Morgan, I want to see you fly…’

And Colin put his head back, and moved within his love – and he flew.

♦


End file.
